


Angry Heart

by alexcat



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-14
Updated: 2008-12-14
Packaged: 2018-01-25 01:27:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1624289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexcat/pseuds/alexcat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A day in the life of Nerdanel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Angry Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I enjoyed doing this one and I hope you enjoy it too. It takes pelace before the fall but even then, things were dark in the House of Feanor.
> 
> Written for myystic

 

 

Angry Heart

His spirit was always restless, Nerdanel thought as she sat in front of her mirror. She loved him, of that there was no doubt, but his fiery temper was getting worse and worse as time passed. She fastened a pair of exquisite jeweled earrings to her ears, earrings he had made for her when he was training with her father. For a while, the fire had burned a bit cooler, almost a gentle warmth instead of the angry inferno that came later. It was this Feanor that she had fallen in love with.

She thought about the day he came to study with her father. She had heard of Finwe's first son but she had never set eyes upon him until one evening he was sitting at their dinner table. He was the handsomest elf she'd ever seen, his dark hair falling down over his shoulders, his grey eyes staring intently at her. He was very tall, even for an elf and his dress was that of a high house.

"This is Feanor, son of Finwe. He will be staying with us while he studies metal and stone working in my foundry. He has more skill than any student I have taught before." She was her father's favorite child and she was the only one who helped him in his work. She knew this was why he invited this student to their table. He often had the servants feed his young apprentices in a dining room that he had built next to his foundry.

"Then you will be seeing me quite a lot, Feanor, son of Finwe." She smiled at him but her smile was not returned. 

"You allow your daughter to work with you?" Feanor seemed both incredulous and angry.

She didn't like his tone. "What is it that you find troubling about that?"

"It is unseemly."

"My daughter does not find it unseemly to work in stone and metal. She is as good as any of my young students and better than most. You would do well to keep your prejudices to yourself, if you wish to study with me."

Feanor did not back down. There was not then nor would there ever be an apology from him. At the time, she had thought him brave to stand up to her father even though he insulted her. Now she knew he was arrogant and unforgiving. 

Yet she loved him still.

They had come to love one another quite by accident though Nerdanel expected it was her very unseemly interest in metal work that had interested her future husband. Her father had seen the darkness in Feanor and had warned her.

"Life with him is never going to be easy, my dear. He is angry now and he will always be angry. Your love may temper his anger but it will never make it disappear."

"I know that, Father, but I do love him. I need to be with him."

Her father had hugged her tight. "I will be here if ever you feel the need to come home."

She had wed him a month later. 

She left her room and went down to dinner. Her seven sons sat around the table with their father. The servants were bringing food to the table as she entered the room.

Feanor rose and pulled her chair out for her. He kissed her cheek as she sat. 

They ate in near silence as they had done for quite some time now. She remembered a day when her lively family all talked at once. Lately, things had changed. Feanor had been working on things she had never even imagined. Lights that glowed by themselves, things he called palantiri that made a person able to see what was happening far away.

He was becoming consumed by his work.

He talked of little else, when he talked at all. 

And his anger toward his brothers. 

Feanor's brothers were wonderful brothers who adored him, but his anger that his own mother had chosen to leave him and his father rather than be exposed to his spirit a moment longer than she had to made him hate them. He considered his father's other sons bastards who intended to usurp his father's love from him as their mother had done. 

Nerdanel ate her soup. It was excellent, as always. Nothing but the best for the family of Feanor, first son of Finwe. 

She finally made small talk with her sons. Maedhros had been out hunting with his cousins, Fingon and Finrod. Maglor had been practicing his flute with his teacher, the same elf who had been Nerdanel's music teacher many years before. The twins had been shadowing Curufin and Celegorm in whatever they did, which was usually hunting too. She didn't doubt that Caranthir was spying on either his siblings or cousins. What he did with his information she didn't even want to know. No matter what they did, their father thought they should be learning metal and stonework under his tutelage. 

Feanor ate without speaking, using hands burned from metalworking. His scarred hands were the only flaws in his perfect beauty. 

The meal was as good as the soup. Amros and Amrod had killed a stag a day ago and the cook had roasted the venison and served it with baked baby potatoes, carrots, and peas from Nerdanel's own gardens. The bread Nerdanel made herself. Making bread was what she did when she'd had all of the worry from her family that she could bear. 

Lately, she had baked many loaves of bread. 

After dinner, everyone seemed to disappear at once. Everyone but Nerdanel and Feanor. A servant brought them a bottle of wine and fresh glasses. Nerdanel poured a glass for her husband and then one for herself. 

"What did you work on today, my dear?" She had always asked this question of her beloved husband at the end of every single day.

"I have an idea of how to capture the light of the Two Trees into jewel form."

~end~

 


End file.
